


One year (3/25/16)

by yellow_daydream



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_daydream/pseuds/yellow_daydream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year and zayn misses his best friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One year (3/25/16)

It's been a year Zayn realizes. A year since he left the four best friends he's ever had and would ever have. The boys who's life changed in a second along with his, helping each other out and experiencing everything together. Traveling the world alongside him and never letting him down. He was never alone, and there was never a time when he would feel alone when he was with his boys. But that has all changed now and he realized he has to go through with all of it alone. The camera flashes and the sunglasses, the lonely interviews and the empty car rides. No more Harry flashing his smile at the cameras and answering questions in his slow languid way of speaking only in interviews. No more Liam taking control of the situation and saying what was best for them all. No more Niall, sitting quietly beside him in his little world and helping Zayn get over his shyness and nervousness. And no more Louis making a joke every now and then and always lightening up the mood. His four best friends were gone and it was all his fault. 

He lays in bed, buried under the covers of his empty hotel room, missing the way he would always wake up next to one of the boys or the way it was never quiet when he was with them. Every morning filled with noise and laughter of the boys as they moved about. He even missed the way Niall would jump on his bed to wake him up or Louis pranking him in the mornings when Harry decided to sleep in late, bored out of his mind. He couldn't begin to explain how much he missed them and would trade anything for the boys to be with him one last time. 

Sometimes he wished he would have never made that decision. The decision that would change his life forever. And the worst part of it all was the anger and betrayal in Louis eyes when he told them, the tears in Harry's, the hurt in Liam's and Niall's dissapointment. It still hurt him even though it has been a year and not even the release of his new album and the success it had was enough to make him get up that morning and celebrate. Because really, how could he celebrate something he did alone? It was then when he realized that having those four boys with him in every album release was what made their success great. It was what made everything worth it. 

*flashback to November 17, 2014* 

"Cheers to another successful album." Niall says, raising his glass to the middle of the four lads, their glasses clinking together agreeing with Niall. Zayn smiles and drowns his glass, the liquor burning his throat. It was the release date of Four and the feeback they recieved was amazing, like it had been since November 18th of 2011, their album Up All Night becoming a success and the joy in their eyes was the same as it was now, only with older faces and crinkles by their eyes, their voices tired and the long years taking a toll on all of them. But in that moment, all the work they had been put under was worth it to see the smiles in the people surrounding them, to know that what they worked hard for was appreciated and the music they produced was still enough to make all their fans happy. And their happiness was always something Zayn looked forward to. Because no matter what, he felt that that was their main purpose. To make people happy even if it was no longer making them happy. 

*end flashback* 

The soft light coming in through the window seemed harsher to Zayn's eyes, the tiredness showing on his face and he realized that he looked older somehow as he looked in the mirror. The bags under his eyes seemed darker than usual and everything seemed to make his head hurt. 'Gosh I'm getting old'  he thought. He smiled sadly as he remembered the way Louis would always whine about getting older and how he had to live now, that tomorrow was not a given and the crinkles by his eyes would soon take over his face. (Then he remembered the way Harry would kiss his face all over and tell him he would always be beautiful in his eyes and the way he would pretend to gag when all he really wanted was to find true love like them and not another beard.) As he was standing in front of the mirror, the memories creeping up on him, he felt himself wanting to cry as he realized he hadn't spoken to them in almost a year. And then he cursed as the first tear streamed down his face and he felt his face crumble and his heart crush, the heavy feeling on his chest weighing him down as he sank to the floor and broke down,  almost, if not as bad, as when he hid himself in the restroom after he told them and cried after seeing the pain in their eyes. 

He sat on the cold floor and cried the tears streaming down his face. He brought his knees to his face and covered himself behind them and though he knew leaving was the best thing he could have done to take care of himself, he still wished the outcome with the boys could have been different.  He missed his best friends and nothing could ever compare to the way he felt when he was with them. 

He wished he could have called more often and not stop bothering until they picked up the phone. He wished he could at least have some contact with them. He would have laughed at how pathetic he looked and sounded as whines left his mouth as he cried on a fucking hotel bathroom floor if the pain in his heart wasn't as much as it was now. 

He hears his phone ring from the other room the shrill sound of it making his head pound even more. He groans in annoyance as he stands up and wipes his cheeks clean of his tears, his moment of weakness being over. He walks to where his phone is still ringing on his bedside drawer and answers, "Hello?" Thinking it was someone calling from his team to ask why he wasn't doing promo or something like that. "Er, Hi" he hears from the other side of the line, the unforgettable sound of Louis' voice sounding through the line. The phone slips out of Zayn's grasp and lands on the floor, his heart beating out of control and his hands shaking. "Uhh hello?" He hears from the phone laying on the floor. He snaps out of it and scrambles to pick up the phone, not wanting to let this moment go, even if it was a dream. "Hi" he exhales, out of breath. 'Zayn?' Louis asks, sounding worried. He frowns and looks at his phone,  only to realize he had it upside down. He mentally face palms before fixing it and putting it back to his ear, laughing nervously "hey sorry, my phone fell and then it was upside down and wow, hi Lou." He awkwardly mumbles and Louis laughs through the phone, the sound so familiar to zayns ears he feels like he can finally breath. 'Still a dork I see.'  Louis says and Zayn can tell he is smiling just by the sound of his voice. Zayn grins and he feels like it's his first real smile since he left a year ago and he can't belive this is happening. Hearing the sound of his best friends voice and not through a voice mail. 'So, uhm, how are you?' Louis asks, awkwardly clearing his throat after a moment of silence. "I am doing ... great. Yeah, better now." He answers and he hopes Louis realizes it's because he finally called back and not because of his solo career taking off with the release of 'Mind Of Mine.' "That's good to hear."  Louis answers and Zayn wishes it can go back to the old days with no tension lingering between them or an awkward cough to fill up the silence.  "Yeah, how about you? How have you been?" He asks and makes a face at how much he's rambling. He hates the awkwardness between them. "I'm fine, everything is you know, just peachy."  And even though his voice sounds normal through the phone, he knows Louis and can hear the sarcasm lingering on his tounge. Zayn sighs and sits on the edge of his bed "I'm sorry." He says and closes his eyes, feeling the weight of Louis' troubles on his chest. And just like that everything changes like the snapping of fingers and Louis sighs and says 'yeah.' And Zayn knows the he undertands exactly what he's apologizing for. He's apologizing for leaving Louis to deal with the fake baby, the countless nights clubbing alone, and all the stunts he's been put through for the past year all alone, when he could have lent a helping hand along the way and a shoulder to lean on like they promised. Zayn feels his eyes getting watery at the thought of his broken promise and let's out at breathless laugh 'I'm being such at little bitch'  he thinks and blinks away the tears. "Congrats by the way, on the new album, listened to it with Harry last night and I gotta say, it's lit." And Zayn laughs because Louis just said 'lit.' "You sound like one of the fans" he says, laughter in his voice as he scrunches his nose. Louis laughs along with Zayn and Zayn can imagine Louis rolling his eyes. "I can't belive I just said lit, oh gosh."  And then they laugh some more and though their laughs are still a little bit strained and trail off awkwardly, he knows that everything will be alright. 

He hears a distant voice coming from Louis' end of the line and it takes him a while to realize it is Harry. "Lou, have you called Zayn yet? It's 10 am he should be awake by now..sort of." He says and Zayn smiles fondly having missed his voice too. "Yeh actually, I'm on the phone with him." Louis answers and he hears some shuffling before Harry is yelling in his ear "Congratulations Z! Mind of mine is incredible!  I'm so proud." He says and Zayn cringes because it's right in his ear, but then he smiles and says thanks because that's what he has to do to keep himself from crying. He feels like such a girl right now. He's smiling and he can hear the smiles in their voices as they talk like when they were all still together, and though Zayn leaving took a toll on all of them, they had to have known that he never really left. "Ey mate, lemme call Niall and Li, I think they wanted to say hi too." And Zayn's heart starts beating wildly in his chest once again, at the thought of hearing and re-connecting with his other two best friends. Fear still clawing at his chest, he answers "Yeah sure" and though he's smiling he feels like crying because he is sure this all has to be a dream. He patiently waits while he hears Louis curse and Harry gently take the phone away from him, starting the three way call. 'See love, all you need is a little patience.' And Zayn can't stop himself from fonding at his two best friends whom are still in love after all this time. Soon he hears Niall's accent come through the line ("Oi!") and Liams groggy voice. ("What") zayn feels his hands get sweaty because even though they were the ones that were the most understanding of his decision, they still hadn't talked in attlmost half a year, the communication dwindling to nothing over time. "Wake up Lima! It's Z's big day." And Zayn can't help himslef from feeling like a kid that just won his first soccer game. 

Zayn smile is making his cheeks hurt and he feels his heart swelling in his chest, filled with utter happiness. As they talk and joke and get over the initial awkwardness, Zayn thinks to himslef 'What a great way to celebrate.' The rest of the morning spent talking with them over the phone with a promise of reuniting when they're all in the same place once again. 

"Hey Z"  
"Yeah lou?"  
"I missed you."   
"I missed you too." 

~~~~~~~~~~

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